


Carry On

by Olympica



Category: Scrubs (TV)
Genre: Season 8, a few melons actually, i promise this makes sense it you read it, some hurt/comfort involving a melon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 15:45:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17409692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olympica/pseuds/Olympica
Summary: Five minutes later, in the middle of the night, he found himself alone on the roof of the hospital, a watermelon in his hand and no idea what the hell his mentor was expecting from him.Even after one disaster after another, JD still holds onto the idea of a good day; after all, his last days at Sacred Heart Hospital should be remembered well. Enter Perry Cox, who had never bottled up his frustration and who never really got rid of the role of the teacher.





	Carry On

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native-speaker, you should know that - I just thought that I should practise my English-writing skills and...well, that is the result. There are probably a few mistakes, but I hope you will still be able to read this short story. And I am no doctor, never studied medicine, so I practically have no idea what I am writing about. Plus, this is my first time writing in this fandom. Hopefully, your expectations are now low enough to read this crap, so have fun :D

It should be a good day.

Only two weeks separated JD from the end of the month, from the day when he would finally leave Sacred Heart behind - and every single day he wanted to savour. Sometimes it seemed completely surreal to him that he would eventually leave the place he had known as a home for eight years. Sometimes he didn't know if it was the right decision, he just knew that he wanted to be a good father to Sammy. And he couldn't do that when he had to commute between places for more than two hours a day.

And that's exactly why this day should be a good day, because he didn't have more than these remaining two weeks. Only that the world seemed to decide against him. With tired eyes he looked at Timothy Carter's chart; the electromyography had been able to measure small electrical signals even at rest, caused by involuntary muscle tension. The biopsy pointed to the loss of muscle fibers, not to mention the CT, which pointed to the loss of the cerebral cortex. JD had already guessed it, he just didn’t want it to be true.

Timothy Carter, an incredibly friendly young man, had amyothrophic lateral sclerosis. In the years to come, he would continue to suffer from paralysis – it seems ridiculous that he had only been hospitalized for recurrent cramps and difficulty in swallowing. JD sighed heavily before closing the fresh results sheet and leaning absently against the nurse's bar.

"No good news, Bambi?" Carla's question only seemed to seep remotely into JD's consciousness and involuntarily he could feel him shaking his head. With sluggish eyes he looked at the nurse, who also leaned against the counter with a gentle facial expression. JD could feel her waiting gaze on him. "You know Timothy Carter, don't you?"

"You mean the man half the staff is flying on?"

"He has ALS."

Instantly Carla fell into an oppressive silence and JD didn't know what to say either. Over the years he had had to see bad things happening to good people over and over again, and very often, there was nothing he could do about it. He had only been able to watch again and again while these people put so much hope in him. You might think that he had learned to deal with it, but it didn't seem that way - it never got easier. And with that last thought, JD straightened up and forced himself towards Timothy Carter's room. It was still early that day, JD thought to himself, maybe one thing or another might turn for the better. It was supposed to be a good day.

He had been hoping for this all the time, even as he hurried to Mary Parker when her heart was no longer contracting in order. He had the defibrillator on, once, twice - JD paused, looking at the monitor with the rigid line. A long-lasting beeping was heard, everything else seemed to stand still. An hour later, in another room, he placed the same loaded plates on a man's chest, Gordon Brent. _Clear_. The motionless body twitched. JD was thinking of storing ceramide trihexoside. It did him no good. _Clear_. Half an hour ago he had been talking to him. Plates pressed against his chest. And then, finally, a regular beeping was heard. JD felt little relief; Gordon Brent had Fabry's disease and already had renal insufficiency. Kidney dialysis wouldn't help him in this condition and JD didn't know how long Brent could wait for a new kidney.

It was a long day.

Tired, he sat in the cafeteria, a cup filled with black broth nestled against his hands. It was only at this moment that JD realized how rarely his thoughts had drifted away that day - not once had he chocked his head, taken the time for a daydream. Maybe even his imagination didn't find anything good that day. And yet he shook his head almost instantly; no, the day was supposed to be a good day. He had only two weeks left, every day should be a good one.

"Hey, man," he could absently hear a familiar voice before he discovered Turk, who pulled the other chair back and finally sat down with him at the table. JD looked up with a faint smile as his longtime friend began to speak: "Carla said there were some bad news."

"Mary Parker didn't make it. And I still don't know what's wrong with Stephen Grayson."

"Bad day, huh?"

JD snorted slightly before quickly closing his eyes. He didn't want to admit it yet, he still wanted to believe that it could be a good day. Maybe, if he only let his thoughts wander for once... Only slowly did he realize that Turk was still watching him with a slightly worried expression, even though he didn't say a word. JD knew he was here just for him; he had seen the names on the white board - Turk was enrolled for the next surgery. Normally, JD would expect him on the basketball court, not sitting still at a table in the cafeteria. He put on a forced smile, trying to keep his voice light. "You don't have to stay here. I'm fine."

“I'll tell you what, tonight we're gonna watch a few episodes of Gilmore Girls and order pizza.”

“I'm fine, Turk. Honestly.”

JD could see the indecision of his counterpart. He knew Turk wanted to get rid of his excess energy, but he didn't want to leave his friend alone - and JD wanted nothing more than a little rest, at least for that one moment. He gave Turk a more courageous smile, hoping that it carried some of his otherwise so excited charisma. Eventually, he could hear a sigh. Gradually, Turk rose up again, even if he paused once more.

“You gonna be okay?”

“Never felt better.”

They both knew it was a lie. And yet Turk decided for the moment that he should believe it - and JD was grateful for it. He didn't want to talk, especially about the past few hours. What he wanted was the rest of the cup full of lukewarm coffee and a little rest before the hustle and bustle would start all over again. It was also the first time JD caught himself being happy that Elliott had a day off; he had to go back to their apartment at the end of that day, but at least he didn't have to explain himself to anyone inside the hospital. Again, he shook his head as soon as this thought suddenly appeared. He was _fine_. It was a _good day_.

Maybe he would soon believe that lie himself.

As soon as he had drunk the last sip of coffee, he gradually got up from his seat, on the way to the next few people who put their hope in him. Absent, he reached the infirmary where Carla had already given him the results of the MRI of Stephen Grayson. Another test, hoping to find something - he hadn't even noticed that Dr. Cox had been sneaking out of his office just so he could have a half-hearted discussion with Carla. Only when he heard a deafening whistle did he finally look up - how was it possible to whistle so loud? JD could feel inscrutable eyes on him. “Why so bad-tempered, Shirley? Was the purple sweater from the last Doll&Girl catalog already sold out or why are you running apathetically through the corridors? The patients should believe that they are being treated by a doctor, not one of their peers, and since you care so much about your appearance anyway, you should re-he- _hearlly_ -”

“-straighten my bra, raise my head and face the patients with a friendly smile, I know,” JD interrupted the sentence of his reluctant mentor while he was still looking at the MRI results in front of him. His voice hadn't been rude, it had just been tired; he hadn't wanted to hear about it, he just wanted to get through today. He didn't notice the surprised, if not slightly questioning look on Dr Cox's part, instead he just folded up the chart and turned away from the infirmary without another word. Perry, on the other hand, looked at him perplexed before he turned to Carla with a frowned expression. “I hope he has a really good reason to interrupt me. When he's argued with his black wife again-”

“Cut him some slack today”, Carla interrupted him with a soft voice – and Perry knew that the next person to interrupt him would be strangled within a few seconds. And yet Perry paused, silent, when he discovered the slightly worried expression on Carla's face. "He had a long day today. He has already lost one, another one just barley made it. One patient he has not yet diagnosed and he had to tell another patient that he will basically not be able to move on his own in a couple of years.”

For a brief moment Perry remained silent; for the following words he hated himself, even though he could not prevent himself from saying them. “Then he should finally get those two testicles I prescribed him so long ago. We all have to carry our package.”

Instantly, he could see Carla's features hardening. He knew he had gone too far; it involuntarily reminded him of the three patients he had all lost years ago because of a single personal mistake. Because of his obsession with donor organs. However, Perry intuitively knew that none of today's events had been caused by a personal mistake; it had simply happened. People died. Without another word, Perry turned away from the counter of the infirmary - there was a mountain of bureaucratic papers waiting for him. At least that's what he thought that pulled him back to his office.

The hours passed and JD hurried through the corridors. More than once, he caught himself looking at the clock impatiently; and even when it finally indicated that he could leave the hospital, he couldn’t. Everyone seemed to need something from him, even though his shift had already reached its end. And when he finally got the results of Stephen Grayson's stool analysis, he wished he hadn't seen them; poliomyelitis. Hardly surprising that they had searched all feverish infectious diseases at first, there were hardly any symptoms that clearly marked poliomyelitis at the beginning of the disease. Carla and Turk were lucky to have already left the hospital - _lucky_? JD forced himself to stop thinking about it.

It was dark when he finally dragged himself through the glass doors of Sacred Heart Hospital. It was finally over, the day had finally come to an end. It was a good day. JD sighed heavily as he headed for his car. Maybe he should have just accepted Turk's offer - suddenly Pizza and Gilmore Girls seemed more than suitable to forget the past hours. Only that his car didn't want to start. JD stopped perplexed, turned the ignition key again, but nothing happened. His car didn't want to start moving. It could only be a bad joke, it simply couldn't be - not after he had worked so long in that hell house, received and spread so many bad news. An indescribable knot formed in his chest and it didn't want to disappear when JD leaned back into his seat and closed his eyes. No wonder he almost had a heart attack when he heard someone opening the door to the passenger seat. Without saying a word, someone sat next to him.

“What the-?"

"Hold your breath, Priscilla, it's just me,” the familiar voice sounded in JD's ears and indeed, he hadn't imagined anything; right next to him was Perry Cox. Even more than confused and, thanks to the shock, somewhat unable to move, he could only stare at his unwilling mentor in disbelief.

“What are _you_ doing here?”

“Gee, Newbie, I don't live in that hell house. Quite in contrast to Bobo, who is still sitting in the cafeteria, even now-”

“Let me try again, what are you doing _here_?”

And surprisingly, Perry was silent for a brief moment. With attentive eyes, JD looked at the man next to him, but Perry had his eyes fixed in front of him; he seemed a little unclear himself why he was in that car at that very moment. JD already believed that he would receive no answer before he could finally hear a ponderous sigh. Finally, Perry looked at JD. “You're still not blowing off steam, aren't you?”

Perplex opened JD's mouth slightly, looking for words to a question he didn't fully understand. Finally he shook his head. “I'm fine. It was a good day.”

“Carter with ALS, Grayson with polio. You brought a man with kidney failure back to life, God knows for how long, lost Parker just before,” Perry finally listed all of the things JD didn’t want to think about; and while he was still enumerating one by one, JD finally closed his eyes again, dropping his head back on the back of the seat. Any other day he would have been surprised that Perry knew about all these patients, would have been happy about it; but today only the sinking feeling in his chest intensified. Perry's voice seemed to reach him only far away. “You are not well. And it certainly wasn't a good day either.”

JD didn't have anything to say, but he didn't have to. It was Perry who started speaking again: “And now you're sitting here in your...for Christ's sake, I really don’t want to call this thing a car. Seriously, your poor excuse of a brother could have bought you a real car that actually drives – and not this thing here. Whatever this is.”

A half-hearted smile lay on JD's lips, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Perry cursed internally, having absolutely no idea how to react properly. His form of blowing off steam was not the one he would recommend to JD. Involuntarily, he felt reminded of the woman who had taken her own life shortly after one last chance of meeting JD – and JD had blamed himself for not having noticed anything odd. Perry had hoped that his conversation with JD would have saved him from putting the blame on him in the years to come, however, it seemed that it just had been a naive assumption on his part.

“I've already seen some good doctors blaming themselves for the deaths of their patients. I've told you all this before; once you start with it, there's no going back,” Perry finally began, repeating the words he'd said to the same man years ago. He paused a moment before turning his gaze away from JD. “And just for the record, I don't want you to become one of them.”

 _He counted me among the good doctors_. Any other day JD would have shouted this message into the world, but that day he took it silently; he knew it had taken Perry some effort to address these few words to him. Slightly, he raised his shoulders, indecisive about what his mentor expected of him now. “What do you suggest?”

“I'd say you should blow off some steam.”

And not even five minutes later, in the middle of the night, he found himself alone on the roof of the hospital, a watermelon in his hand and no idea what the hell his mentor was expecting from him. Perry had pressed the melon from the leftovers of the cafeteria into his hand and sent him out to the roof without another word - and now JD stood silently under the cloudy night sky, indecisive as to whether Perry was just joking with him. And yet, as if someone wanted to prove him wrong, the door that led to the roof finally opened again. With a small box under his arm, Perry approached JD, who could only watch him in wonder. For a brief moment he looked inside the box.

“Is this supposed to be a picnic?”

Instantly, he could hear a snort, while Perry gradually put the box down.

“Keep dreaming, Betsy.”

And involuntarily, JD could feel his mouth corner twitching upwards. Meanwhile, without another word, Perry fished a honeydew melon out of the box before stepping a little closer to the roof scaffolding. Briefly, he looked at JD. “Every night I don't manage to read a good-night-story to my own children. During the week, I hardly see them anymore. Damn, I can't even treat patients anymore!”

And so he turned away from JD and threw the melon in a high arc from the roof.

Finally, a switch seemed to flip in JD's mind. He could remember standing here with Elliot, Turk and Carla years ago - melons and filled plastic gloves under their arms. At the time, they had simply wanted to let off steam together; it had worked, except that JD had never used this method again. He hadn't even known that Perry had heard of their little mess. On the other hand, he was talking about Perry Cox, who also destroyed a laboratory every year, maybe it was just his way. But now, with a melon in his hand, in the middle of the night, JD finally understood what his mentor demanded of him. And so he also slowly approached the edge of the roof, looked down for a moment; when he finally looked back at Perry, he thought he had discovered a slight nod.

“My whole day sucked. Hell, it went to shit before it even started.” Finally, he had said it; he said what he hadn’t wanted to say out loud for so long – and it felt incredibly good. “I wanted my last days here to be great. I'm just so tired of it.”

And with that he reached out and threw the watermelon from the roof. He heard a satisfying thud; it seemed ridiculous to him how good it made him feel.

“Because of my children, I get emotional, I get _sentimental_. I just can't deal with being alone anymore, damn it!" An apple burst on the asphalt. “Everyone expects me to always walk around smiling - that I always have to be there for everyone!” A pear hit the ground next to the burst melon. “I make friends with Bobo, God knows why. With _Satan_ , Newbie!” One of the chocolate muffins crashed to the floor - a muffin, which Kelso had probably eaten otherwise, JD thought.

“I leave Sacred Heart”, he suddenly said before he could have stopped himself; he threw the last melon from the roof. He didn't have to turn around to see Perry's amazed eyes, he could feel them resting on him - until that moment his mentor must have thought he had made that decision lightly. At least JD believed it, otherwise he didn't know how to explain the unpleasant silence.

“Then why are you leaving?”

And on that question, JD finally looked up, could locate the thoughtful look on Perry's face, even though the night seemed so dark. He had crossed his arms and his tone of voice had been sober, not giving a clue if he wished JD to continue working at Sacred Heart. It had been a simple question and the answer was equally simple. He breathed deeply. “I don't want to go. I love Sacred Heart, that I work daily with Turk and Carla, that I see Elliot daily. Jesus, I'll probably miss the janitor as well. Just... just can you imagine being a stranger to your own son?”

JD expected a long speech that he shouldn't be a girl, that he should pull himself together, it wouldn't have surprised him. And yet nothing came, he waited in vain for a few angry words. Instead, there was only a slain silence and the expression in Perry's eyes seemed understanding to him - _understanding._ Finally, JD could see his mentor nodding, albeit barely visible, and he suddenly realized that Perry felt the same. He also wished for more time with his children, even though he didn’t seem to gain it. And yet JD knew that he would do anything for the same amount of time Perry was currently spending with his children, even though it might not be that much; and if it meant that he was working at another hospital, then he would have to make that sacrifice.

“Come. Tomorrow’s gonna be a long day.”

And with these few words Perry gradually turned away from the edge of the roof while JD looked at him for a moment, still motionless; the words were neither angry nor reproachful, they were almost surrendered instead. Even if JD didn't know what it meant – perhaps his mentor would miss him after all, even though he didn’t allow himself much hope. Maybe he would be able to elicit a few words of farewell from Perry before he left Sacred Heart. Thoughtfully, JD cocked his head.

 

_“Night”, he said simply before leaving the corridor with one last look at Perry. One of the residents exhaled with relief. “Finally, he’s gone. Always made a big deal over nothing. I mean, Dr. Dorian was fine, but not better than any other doctor.”_

_Perry folded his forehead, a sharp expression on his face. “For the record, John Dorian was the first and only doctor who cared as much as I do. And you don't just have to believe that he's a good doctor, the matter of fact is he's an exceptional person. That’s why people gravitated towards him, that’s why I did. He is my friend.”_

 

“...he is my friend”, said JD absent-mindedly before he could hear a shrill whistle. Torn from his thoughts – had he really just have a daydream? JD began to smile; it was the first one today – he finally looked back at Perry, who was already standing at the door to the roof again. "If you don't want to stay here all night, you should finally get your ass moving, Newbie.”

“Wait, are you offering me to drive me home?”

“Don't read too much into it, Judy.”

“Can I sit in the front?”

“Yeah, sure, best right at the wheel, so you can hit me with my own car and kill me.”

And as soon as they had both left the roof, the door fell into the lock with a quiet last sound - and the day finally came to an end. It wasn't until the next morning that some people pointed confused to the, quite literal, fruit salad on the asphalt in front of the Sacred Heart Hospital, which was gradually swept up by the slightly irritated janitor. JD had had to get up early, instead of using his own car he had been forced to use public transportation and was therefore looking forward to the day when he would finally get his own car back. Without a word he ran past the janitor, who watched him with suspicious eyes.

“I know it was you!”

JD didn't turn around, yet a slightly amused smile lay on his lips. He stopped at the nurses station and, just as the day before, Carla and Dr. Cox seemed to be in a discussion all over again - and Carla didn't seem to be rather happy, according to her facial expression. Absent, he heard some of the spoken words: “-yesterday it was Nancy here, now it’s your turn. My God, is there a wave of bad-temper here? Who's next?”

“You know very well why I'm angry. You should have been a little considerate of Bambi yesterday and what are you doing, oh, of course, he should get himself some testicles!”

“I think that you should have some consideration for me, too, Dr. Cox”, JD said without thinking; he tried to hold back his amusement, even though his voice sounded light. Instantly, he could see Perry’s invisible red light lightning up. “Of course, you want me to take care of your feelings, Brittany. But you know, if you're going to have your period again, just take a painkiller and watch like any other good girl Sex and the City, otherwise I swear you'll get hit by a melon next time I throw one off the roof!"

And with that he stormed away. For another minute, Carla gazed after him confused before she looked at JD. “What was the last part about? Melons?”

“Don’t ask me. Let's just be glad he's now using fruit and not hospital supplies for his anger issues”, JD replied unmoved as he still looked after Perry; a knowing smile lay on his lips.

It would be a good day.


End file.
